Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
