dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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