Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
