Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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