My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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