Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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