I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
