took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
