Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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