if you like me you must not know who I am
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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