No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
