Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
