Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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