I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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