coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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