i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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