I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
