Your tits are I can't wait for
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
