What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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