I'm laying in your front yard are you home
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
