Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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