i permit you to call me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
