I could have mohawked her pubes.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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