he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
