OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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