The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize