I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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