I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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