remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
