alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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