I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
