You work out of a Hotel?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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