Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize