You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
