I'm jealous of your bromance
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just high enough for therapy.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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