doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
