They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
