She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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