last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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