Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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