how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
