Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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