omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
