I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
