In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
