I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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