i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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