Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
