Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
