so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
