so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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