i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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