How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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