How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
