This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
