I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
