Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
