hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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