DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how do flat chested girls get laid?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
