You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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