Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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