Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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