Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize