How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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